Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Who died my cat blue again?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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