exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
