Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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