The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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