How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
