you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
