I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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