I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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