he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize