i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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