We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
