Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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