Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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