She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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