i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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