I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
