JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
