you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
