I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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