What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
