i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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