my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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