my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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