I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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