Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
