It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
