Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
