Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
