belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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