im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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