Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize