Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
