the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
