just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
