White coat. Heels.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
