Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
