Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
