I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
