I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
