how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
