from now on my penis is your penis
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
