My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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