Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I CAN MOONWALK!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
