the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
