so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
