I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize