I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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