Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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