She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize