I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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