hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
