Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
