so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
