The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
