I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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