the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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