Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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