I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
