Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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